I'm Gonna Get Shot
by Arete
Summary: Chapter 3,4 IS UP!!!Mummy/ Indiana Jones crossover. It's about the pilots in charge of moving the heores around form place to place. um... Indy and Rick meet, and their pilots, Izzy and Clarence meet. They go out to find some stolen artifacts. Please R/R.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own Indiana Jones, Clarence, Izzy, Mgic Carpet Airways, Rick O'Connell, or anything else mentioned in the story. All the "historic" and geographic stuff and the names of the city I made up. And I'm not making any money. Now you can't sue me.  
  
Note: This story is about the poor pilots in charge of transportation for our heroes. Specifically Izzy, from the Mummy Returns, and Clarence- from Indiana Jones and the Hollow Earth, by Max McCoy. These poor guys get shot at, left behind, and just get the worst of a lot of things. Not to mention they complain a lot. Anyway, enjoy. And please read and review, even if you haven't read the book, or watched the movie. Thank you.  
  
"Indy. It's going to take me weeks to repair all that damage. We're stuck here until I can." Clarence glanced wildly at the surrounding area. It was a yard surrounded by a wall with a gate at the front. At the back side, a hill sloped gently down, covered with trees. To the other side the wall extended until it hit some houses. At the point there was an oddly formed dirigible. It looked like a blimp mashed together with a boat on skis. This was Magic Carpet Airways. Near the dirigible was a plane, covered with bullet holes.  
In the yard, desks covered with maps and other papers were scattered here and there. A few tents covered some of the desks. There were cages with birds in them, and a bathtub.   
A man walked toward Indy and Clarence, stepping carefully around the many chickens that wandered around the yard. "Hello." The man said. "I didn't know Izzy had other customers." Indy glanced at the man. He was an American. He had about four guns, a bandolier, and a big canvas bag strapped on his shoulder.  
Indy nodded. "Hi."  
The man nodded at Indy's whip and gun. "Good choice. Of course, I always bring a Thompson for emergencies."   
Indy shrugged. " I try to avoid those situations."  
The man smiled. "I'm Rick O'Connell."  
"Indiana Jones. I've heard your name before." He paused, thinking. "Are you related to an Evelyn O'Connell?"  
Rick grinned. "She's my wife."  
"I've seen the things she's found at the British Museum. The collection is very impressive. I spoke to her once."  
"Are you that American expert with the colorful name?"  
Indy smiled. " I've been called worse."  
"What happened to that plane over there?" Rick pointed at the plane covered with holes. "You come in that?"  
"Yeah, we came in that." Clarence said angrily. "We came in it, and then we got shot down."  
"What happened?"  
"Indy here comes to me one day and asks 'Hey, wanna go to Africa with me?' Of course I tell him no. No way am I going with him. I either get shot or almost fly into a zep or I freeze my ass off in Antarctica."  
"Clarence, it was not Antarctica. It was the North Pole."  
"Whatever. Anyway Indy here says 'Fine' and that's that. He leaves. Next thing I know, some British guys in black suits show up at the airfield and take me to some government place where this American guy tells me that I will be helping the British government."  
"Government?" Rick asked.  
Indy nodded. "They asked me to track down a couple thefts that have been traced as far as Africa. They think it's a cult or something. They also think there are some supernatural things involved, so they contacted me. I have a friend in a very high position, a guy named Treadwell, which is why I always get pulled into these things."  
"So they stick me on a commercial flight to Cairo, where I meet up with Indy. Then we end up getting briefed by some weird secret agent kinda guy who tells us this is a cult that worships snakes." Clarence said.  
"They failed to tell me that when they asked me for help." Indy said, annoyed.  
"Apparently, this cult is stealing artifacts depicting snakes."  
"Like the Scepter of the Cobra!" Rick exclaimed. "Evy sent me out here to try to find out who took it. There have been a bunch of thieveries from the museum."  
Indy nodded. "Also, the Tablet of Ybineer, which tells about a mystical snake god who lived out in the desert. They also stole the Jewel of Nieth, which is a red gem that is surrounded by two gold snakes."  
Rick shook his head. "All from the British Museum. How did you two get shot down?"  
Clarence glared at Indy. "Well, Dr. Jones has us rent a plane, a real antique."  
Rick nodded in agreement. "Looks like the one I went in with Winston. Sorry, please continue."  
"So he tells me that we are looking for a remote place in the desert, probably an oasis, with a temple at the center. He obviously forgot how big the damn desert is. So, we're flying high for a week just scanning the desert when we spot a nice big oasis with a stone temple in the middle. Indy says 'There. Land there.' So I circle around a few times to find a good place to land, when BANG! We're getting shot at. I yell at Indy to use the mounted machine gun and-"  
"You did not. You screamed like a girl and-"  
"Shut up. He can't even aim, so the old girl gets shot a couple hundred more times. We limp back to the nearest place and we end up here."  
"It wasn't that bad." Indy told Rick.  
"Yes it was! We got shot at. Those people were trying to kill us."  
Indy shrugged easily, "Happens to me all the time."  
Rick smiled. "Well, since we're looking for the same thing, let's join forces. When Izzy gets back, we can always get him to let us use the dirigible."  
"Is he... reliable?" Indy asked.  
"Yeah. He's reliable... ish."  
"Why didn't I become a teacher, like my mother wanted me to?" Clarence moaned.  
"Because you'd kill the kids." Indy told him. "Let's go."  
"Where?"  
"To find Izzy. The sooner this whole thing is over, the better."  
  
*  
"No. No no no no no."  
"Aw, come on Izzy." Rick said, his hands spread and trying to look innocent.  
Izzy hurried around the yard, putting maps away. "No. Remember, I got shot in the ass! And then I got chased by a huge wall of water with a face on it." his waved his arms around. "And then you left me in that jungle thing with all those little pygmy creatures swarming all over the place. I should be dead, O' Connell!"  
Indy leaned against a table, an amused look on his face. He sighed and folded arms. Shaking his head, but still smiling, he muttered, "Pilots."  
"Izzy. Please. You'll get payed."  
"No. I never got that gold stick last time, and I didn't get a share of Jonathon's diamond."  
"You'll really get payed." Rick told him.  
"No. I always get shot at. Last time I got shot in the ass."  
"No. That was the time before last time."  
"I don't care." Izzy shook his head angrily.  
Rick looked at Izzy and rolled his eyes. "Will you at least hear what you have to do?"  
"Why? I know I'll get shot! I saw that plane. It looks like Swiss cheese!"  
Clarence stood up and moved next to Izzy. "I think I'll join Izzy." He told Rick and Indy. "I don't like getting shot at either. You two can go find that gold stuff on your own."  
"Gold?" Izzy asked suspiciously, then shook his head quickly. "No. No, O'Connell. I am not going anywhere with you, not even if you... you... Built me a temple and worshiped me and brought me gold everyday."  
"Why would I do that?"  
Indy stood up. "Please, Izzy. This is really important. If you don't get us there soon, the world could end."  
Rick looked at Indy, surprised. "It could?"  
"No. I'm just trying to inject some urgency."  
"Come on, Izzy. Let's go get a drink." Clarence tugged on Izzy's sleeve.  
Izzy nodded. The two pilots began walking towards the gate.  
"Hey! Clarence! Get back here. Remember what Treadwell said?"  
"Treadwell..?" Rick asked.  
"He's in a high position in British Intelligence. He threatened Clarence, which is why Clarence came."  
Clarence turned to face Indy and Rick, walking backwards. "No" He protested. "I came because I am your friend. I would never give in to torturing."  
"Oh right. Like the time you got me arrested in Panama."  
"Indy, making me feel guilty is not going to get me to help you." He tripped over a chicken.  
Indy walked over to Clarence and helped him up. "Please, Izzy, Clarence. Just this once. I need to get those artifacts back. it won't take more than a week. And you'll get payed by the museums and the British government."  
"Payed?" Izzy asked. "What would I use the money for? What the hell would I spend it on?"  
"Do this as a favor?" Indy tried.  
Clarence sighed dramatically. "Well, I am out here already... so I suppose I'll come. But we have a little tiny problem."  
"And that is..." Indy asked.  
"We don't have an airplane."  
"Izzy's got a dirigible." Rick said.  
Everyone looked at Izzy.  
The pilots eyes widened as he noticed everyone looking at him. "No. Not my beautiful old girl. No no no no no."  
"As a favor?" Indy asked again.  
"As a favor for what?" Izzy asked.  
"For not shooting you?" Indy's hand strayed toward his powerful Webley.  
Izzy's mouth opened and closed a few times. "I'll get payed, right?" Indy nodded. Izzy threw his arms up. "Fine! Fine. I'll go."  
Indy offered his hand. "Deal?"  
Izzy had a pained expression on his face as he nodded and shook with Indy.   
Clarence galnced at Izzy. "He wouldn't have shot you, ya know."  
"Thanks for telling me right now."  
Clarence shrugged.  
"Aw. I am going to get shot." Izzy, stomped toward the dirigible and tripped over the same chicken Clarence had.  
*  
They were cruising silently. The skies were a crimson; red clouds framed the setting sun. Down below, the desert was silent.   
Rick, Indy, and Clarence sat around a table. Izzy stood at the wheel.  
A map was set down on the table. Rick pointed to a small dot labeled Upuat. "There." he said firmly. "Izzy? We need to stop at Upuat for supplies."  
"And?" Indy asked, picking up Rick's hesitant tone.  
"I need to call my wife."  
"From Upuat? It's hardly near a major city." Indy indicated the blank space around the dot.  
"I know a guy there who is an expert with radios. He can hook me up to my wife." Rick added, "somehow."  
Izzy, stilled annoyed that he had come on this trip, snarled at Rick: "And where am I supposed to put this dirigible without attracting people's attention, hmm?"  
Rick shrugged. "Park it out a few miles out of town, we can walk the rest of the way."  
Izzy rolled his eyes and went back to navigating, grumbling, "Park 'er? What does he think she is, a car?"  
*  
Izzy listened to Rick's suggestion, and anchored the dirigible on a few rocks that jutted out of the sand. They walked into Upuat near noon. The town was small, consisting of a few ramshackle buildings piled together along a single main road. A shop, a tavern, and an inn were on one side. Facing them were a few houses. At the opposite end of town, a pen with a few goats circled around a house.  
The group walked down the main (and only) street. They passed the tavern, where yelling could be heard, and continued to the inn. Rick pushed open the door, and Indy and the pilots followed him in.  
A table faced the door, behind which were wires, transmitters, and a mess of other things. A figure sat at the table, reading a newspaper which prevented the group from seeing his face.  
Rick tossed his gun bag onto the table with a thunk. The figure leapt up, startled.   
"Who the hell-"  
"Hey!" Rick smiled broadly, "Jake! Still in this rundown place?"  
"Aw, damn, O'Connell." The man threw the paper on the table angrily. " Why'd ya hafta come here?" 


	2. The Hotel

Chapter 2.............. The Hotel (wow! What a creative name!)   
"Great friend," Indy muttered.   
"This doesn't look like much of a hotel." Clarence said.   
Rick turned and said, "He's just glad to see me. And the hotel is upstairs."   
"Oh," Clarence said as Indy nodded.   
Jake glanced angrily at the group and settled his glare on Rick. "I told you not to come back. You blew up my hotel, you got my partner killed, and you are annoying."   
Rick looked insulted. "I did not blow up your hotel." He insisted."Those guys blew up the outhouse, you didn't even like your partner, and I am not annoying."   
Izzy snorted.   
"You- keep quiet." Rick looked at Jake. "Come on. We had fun. Shooting at bad guys..."   
"Getting shot, getting chased, getting blown up." Jake finished for Rick.   
"I don't think he is too thrilled to see you." Indy's hand rested casually on his Webley, just in case Jake ended up acting as unfriendly as he sounded.   
Rick dropped his friendly attitude. "Look, Jake. You'll get payed. A lot. I just need to use your equipment and stay here for a night. We need to find some guys who-"   
Jake waved his hand and interrupted. "No. I don't want to know. Rooms for the night will cost twenty in US currency each and the equipment will be five per minute."   
"What?!" Indy asked as Rick asked, "Why the hell in US currency?"   
"'cause I'm too lazy to do the conversions. And," he looked at Indy. "Tell your friend that it's cheap compared to some of the places out there."   
Izzy gave Jake a look. "Out there?" he asked. "Where? In the middle of this desert? There isn't another town for hundreds of miles."   
Jake ignored Izzy. "Take it or leave it."   
"Hold on." Rick turned toward Indy. "Do you have about $400?"   
"Four hundred?"   
"Well the rooms are about eighty, and the call will take about 50 minutes to get through if we're lucky. That's, what? Two-fifty. So now we have three-uh, three-thirty. I'll talk to Evy for ten minutes, and that's three-eighty."   
Indy didn't look to happy. "Yeah," he said quietly, so Jake wouldn't hear. "I have enough. Couldn't you get him to lower the price?"   
"Pal. That is low."   
Indy had an exasperated expression on his face. "If we ever go on one of these little adventures again, let me handle accommodations."   
Rick nodded. "I like that idea." He turned back to Jake. "We'll pay you in advance for the call, but tomorrow for the rooms."   
Jake shrugged. "Seeing that you have your gun bag, I don't think I can argue."   
***   
Rick was put through four different operators before he reached his house. Surprisingly, it only took about half an hour.   
"Hello?" a harried sounding voice asked.   
"Evy? It's me, Rick. You don't sound too happy."   
"Rick? Oh, it's Jonathon. He taught Alex how to swear in Hungarian or something. I don't know where my brother picked it up, though."   
"Probably Beni."   
"What?"   
"Never mind," Rick said.   
Evy brightened. "Did you find any clues?"   
"Um, I can't really say so, I don't trust this line, but, I did meet a friend of yours looking for the same thing."   
"I can't imagine who," Evy said.   
"Indiana Jones."   
"Oh, I remember him!"   
"Yeah, well, he's helping out. Can I talk to Alex?"   
"Hold on." There was a pause, then a: "Hi Dad!"   
"Hey, kid. Happy birthday."   
"Boy, are you off. It was yesterday."   
"Well, sorry. I wasn't near a phone. What happened?"   
"I got sent to my room." Alex told him.   
"Why?" Rick asked.   
"Uncle Jon taught me how to say some stuff in Hungarian. Wanna hear? It's-"   
"No. I don't want you saying bad words, okay?"   
"Fine." Alex said unconvincingly.   
"Okay," Rick ignored his son's lie. "Lemme talk to your mother."   
"Rick?" Evy asked.   
"I have to make this call short, so, I don't think this should take to long. I'll probably be back in a week."   
"Okay. I love you. Be careful." Evy paused, and added, "And no belly dancers."   
"Oh, ha ha. Bye, love ya."   
Rick hung up the connection in time to see Jake pushing a button on a stopwatch.   
"O'Connell, you know owe me two-fifty."   
Rick tossed a wad of bills to Jake. "Where did Indy, Clarence, and Izzy go?"   
"Up there. Room 3." Jake jerked his head in the direction of the stairs.   
"Right. I'll go join 'em."   
  
The room was hot and stuffy. Six beds were up pushed against the walls, three on each side. There was a desk up against the far side of the room. A window was open. It looked out over the top of the porch and out onto the dusty street.   
Rick threw his bag onto one of the beds, it bounced about three feet into the air and landed again. Izzy, Indy, and Clarence were arguing about something.   
"What's wrong?" Rick asked.   
Indy sighed. "These two flyboys want to go to the bar."   
"What is so bad about going to a bar? It's not as if we'll get drunk!" Clarence protested.   
Indy rolled his eyes. "Yes, you will. I don't want you going because we are near the oasis. There might be spies here. I don't want to broadcast our being here."   
"Who would care if we're here?" Izzy asked.   
"Well, if you go into a bar and say, 'Hey! How ya doin'? I'm here looking for a bunch of weirdos who worship snakes,' don't you think they'd be a bit suspicious, especially if the members of the cult want to stay hidden?"   
"We won't give away any information!" Clarence said, annoyed that Rick would even suggest that.   
"Yes, you would," Indy told the pilot.   
"I resent that insult aimed at my ability to conceal information."   
"What?" Rick asked.   
"I want to get a drink!" Izzy said, annoyed.   
"No. This is for safety's sake. We'll never get anything done if you blab to every Bedouin, miner, and local drunk that we are searching for treasures worth thousands," Rick told them.   
"Miner?" Indy asked.   
Rick shook his head. "About ten percent of the guys at the bar are miners. They work about twenty miles out in the desert in an- oh."   
"I think we found our cult members." Indy said, half satisfied and half worried.   
"Why are you worried?" Rick asked, noting his tone of voice.   
"Snakes. I hate 'em." 


	3. Betrayal

Chapter three.......Betrayal  
hello! yay! it's a new chapter. I'm sure you share my enthusiasm. Just want to say thanks to all the people who have reviewed my story.  
The moon rose above the desert, pale yellow in a dark blue sky. It shone in the window of Jake's communications room, casting the room in an eerie glow.  
A dark figure swathed in robes stood at one end, a sword glistening in the moonlight. A scarf concealed his face and the robes covered his entire body.  
Jake said, casually leaning on the table, "I ain't tellin' you who and why until I get my money."  
The figure shook his head. "Money is of no importance to us. It is you of the lower class that still worship gold instead of the true god, Ybi-"  
"Yeah, yeah. Do you want the information or not?"   
The figure tossed a black bag on the table. The distinct clinking of coins could be heard.  
Jake snatched it up and peered in the bag. He gave a satisfied grunt and placed it back on the table. "Right. There are four of 'em. They are looking for some snake cult thing. Uh... Oh! Yeah. They said something about treasures worth thousands."  
"But what are their intentions? Are they to fight us or ally with us?" the man asked.  
"Beats the hell outta me." Jake admitted.  
"Well, I shall assume the worst. Thank you, Mr. Anderson."  
"Andrews."  
"Yes. Now, you will die. "  
Jake stood still for a beat and then laughed. "Ha. You snake dudes have quite a sense of humor." The man advanced towards him. Jake slowly stepped back. He hit the far wall.   
"Aw shit." he muttered. Frantically, he looked around the room.   
The man stepped up. "Thank you, Mr. Andrews." With lightning speed, he whipped out a bone handled dagger. It's blade shone in the moonlight. He plunged it into Jake's chest, burying it up to the handle. Jake's expression changed from fear, to shock, to pain. A quick flash of anger, and he gave a shuddering sigh and slumped to the floor.  
Clouds passed over the moon, and all was dark and silent. 


	4. Assassins

Chapter Four........ Assassins  
The four occupants of the room all slept, each of them dreaming.  
Izzy was dreaming of a perfect life, one in which he never met Rick O'Connell. Rick was dreaming he was at home with Evy and Alex, when three thugs marched in demanding that Jonathon pay them the million he owed them. Indy was dreaming about skiing down sand dunes when his ski poles turned to snakes. (dreams are weird)  
Clarence was dreaming that a dark figure was creeping in the window with a shining sword and was crouching over him, when he realized he was awake. Clarence gave a shriek, as did his assailant, who sprung back.   
"Indy!" he yelled.  
Indy leapt out of bed. Rick jumped and tripped on his gun bag. He fumbled around in the darkness until his fingers curled around on the handle of his gun. Damn, he thought I can't fire without any light. I might shoot a friendly! "Clarence," he hollered. "Light a torch or lantern of something-oof!" A punch to the stomach knocked him back onto the bed. He leapt up onto the bed and his head hit the ceiling. "Ow!"   
Before Clarence could follow through with Rick's instructions, the clouds covering the moon parted.   
In the dim light, Indy could make out three robed figures. He grabbed his whip and, with a flick of his wrist and a sharp crack, one of the men yelped and went down.   
Clarence and Izzy were back to back, doing there best to end off one of the attackers. The man was taunting them, jabbing at them every couple of seconds. He laughed. Izzy glared at the man, noticing, for the first time, that the assassin had been taunting him.  
"I wouldn't be laughing." Izzy said angrily, "I'm going to kick your ass." Which he proceeded to do, literally. The man collapsed, wheezing.  
Rick was desperately looking for a way to get off the extremely bouncy bed and grab a gun. He bounced once, and then leapt over to the next bed. He was about to jump down when a fist hit him in the stomach and he was forced back onto the bed. His assailant jumped up next to him, unaware that doing so would probably send him up high enough to hit the ceiling. He did. Rick took advantage of his foe's momentary pause to grab one of the man's sword. He swung at the man and hit steel. The attacker had been able to pull out a sword identical to Rick's. The two began jumping on the beds and fighting furiously.  
Indy managed to reach Rick's bag and pulled out the first steel object his hand encountered, a shotgun. He grabbed some cartridges and loaded the weapon as quickly as he could. He aimed at the man he had whipped, now up and fighting with Clarence, and yelled, "Clarence, drop!"  
Clarence, his old army reflexes kicking in, fell to the floor and covered his head with his hands. Indy fired. The dark shape fell.  
Rick yelled, "Indy! Help Izzy!"  
Indy looked to the corner of the room where the second robed attacker was taking out his anger on Izzy. "Izzy! Just drop down!" Izzy attempted to, but his foe dragged him up and punched him in the jaw.  
Indy crackd his whip at the man, hitting him on the back. The man let go of Izzy, who fell like a (skinny) sack of potatoes. Indy fired.  
With two down, Indy turned to the last assassin. "O'Connell! I can't get a clear shot!"  
"Little busy," Rick said.  
Indy looked at the two. They were hacking busily at each other while jumping on the beds. It would have looked pretty funny if the situation was not serious.  
Izzy sprang up and jumped on one of the other beds. He grabbed one of the pillows and swung it at Rick's enemy. The man turned his head, glaring at Izzy, who smiled nervously. Rick stabbed the man, who fell as Rick yanked out the sword. 


End file.
